literature

The Final Bastion

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xxDearOblivionxx's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

I thought I knew how to fight.
When words come down like a thunderstorm of fists upon your temples,
don't give in.
Clench your teeth
battle the urge to run:
she needs you now
more than ever...

I regret the subject.
Suddenly
she is more of a woman than I.
Maturity, however long developed,
pales in comparison to that blush,
that rosy opening,
no matter how rough
and clumsy
and passionless.
I should be sick over this,
over her weakness, his desperate insistence,
their inability to be true to each other
as well as themselves...
But instead, there's a different heat that moves up the throat
and settles, a solid knot, in the bottom of me.
Deeper than sin,
deeper than contempt,
a roiling coil of
shame...
This should be easy.
But everywhere, the holdouts are falling:
no more weathered walls,
no steadfast resolutions,
just broken glass and holes
in chain link fences.
Am I the final island?
Feeling like the last one left.
© 2013 - 2024 xxDearOblivionxx
Comments3
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spartan-locke's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

I can't recall when was the last time I could review a piece of yours that isn't particularly adult, or touching on sexual themes though this is a strong work without those elements. I think the ideas at conflict here are big and you do a great job fleshing them out.

The narrative is simple enough, the narrator is watching a woman she is comparing to herself and that woman's relationship with another (who we can potentially assume was a former partner of the narrators). We see the narrator struggle with three ideas here, one is seeing herself as inadequate and her as a woman she could eventually be, two resenting this other woman and their relationship, and three envy. What's interesting is that while their relationship and her failed relationship with him may have no relation, the narrator is able to look at them with a sense of introspection. She's flummoxed by their relationship (even though she feels its shallow but we don't know if that's her resentment or a true statement) because she's better, and she may need to change.

Here's why that's interesting, because the other big idea here is loneliness. The narrator is grappling with it, and when she wonders why it is she's alone she's drawn (like many) to her mirror and self critique. What we're left to ponder is whether or not loneliness in general creates a greater self-awareness, for a problem that self-awareness may not be able to solve. When we're left on our own, is that a naturally destructive state that could breed more destructiveness? I think the work forces the readers to ask good questions about the nature of being alone and isolated.

One issue with this, I think the title was a little weak or at least not as related to the material as I thought it would be.

In the end fantastic work, it both engages and challenges.